Before getting married, one of the topics you’ll want to discuss with your significant other is money, says Parima Pandkhou, divorce attorney at Wasser, Cooperman & Mandles.
It’s important to talk about debt, income, budgeting, life goals — anything to do with your finances. “These are all very uncomfortable and heavy issues,” she says, “but once you talk about it and get it out of the way, it really dispels a lot of fear and insecurity that might come up.”
Down the line, if your marriage is rocky, and you don’t already have a prenup in place, there are ways to protect your money should you ultimately decide to get a divorce.
Here’s what Pandkhou and divorce and family law attorney Padideh Jafari recommend.
1. Learn as much as you can about your shared finances
While you’re married, make sure you know all the details of your mutual accounts.
“Get working on finding out as much as you can about your finances, your assets, your liabilities,” Pandkhou says. “You’re still in the marriage so it’s easier for you to call up your business manager, call up your accountant, call up the accounts.”
That way, if either of you does file for divorce, “you already know at least half the equation,” she says.
You won’t have to ask your partner for access to the accounts or worry about any changes being made without your knowledge.
2. Consider a postnuptial agreement
Like a prenup, a postnuptial agreement, or postnup, sets forth how the couple will divide their assets in the case of divorce.
It can give each party in the marriage a sense of security about what’s theirs in and outside of the relationship. It’s especially worth considering “if one of the spouses started a business,” says Jafari.
For example, in community property states like California or Texas, where assets acquired during the marriage are typically split 50/50, a postnup can help define how those business assets will be divided, if at all.
“It could protect the business,” she says.
The postnup can be a tricky subject to broach and might not be the best solution for everyone, she warns. It can make one partner feel like the other doesn’t trust them. But it can be worth discussing, even if one party is afraid of an argument.
“Avoiding conflict actually brings up more conflict later on,” Jafari says. “So it’s best to have the conversation and see how the person reacts.”
Ultimately, if your marriage is on shaky ground, knowing everything you can about your joint finances and understanding what protections can be put in place are two smart steps you can take now to help ensure a safe landing for yourself in the future.
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