You have probably seen the word “narcissistic” in online headlines, appointment applications or tiktoks with therapeutic theme. However, the label that people usually apply without thinking to toxic or villains of Telerreality hides a much more complex psychological panorama.
Psychologists studied narcissism for many years, but over time our understanding evolved. One of the most important changes is that, at present, narcissism is no longer perceived as grandiosity, arrogance or selfishness.
The first scientific descriptions of narcissism focused on dominance, ambition and self -importance, traits associated with traditional male stereotypes. This meant that narcissistic tendencies in women will often be misunderstood or overlooked.
When these features are manifested as emotional sensitivity, insecurity or relational manipulation, sometimes they are erroneously diagnosed as anxiety, mood disorders or limit personality disorder.
The most extreme and persistent forms of narcissism can sometimes be diagnosed as a narcissistic personality disorder. This condition was added to the diagnostic and statistical manual of the mental disorders of the American Psychiatry Association in 1980. However, most people with narcissistic tendencies do not meet the requirements to receive this diagnosis.
What really does research say?
Today, narcissism is understood as a complex set of personality characteristics that can manifest in different ways.
For years, psychologists suspected the existence of different types of narcissism, but it was not until 1991, when researcher Paul Wink and his colleagues presented a model with the subtypes of grandiosity and vulnerability, which were recognized more formally. Although there are other approaches, this is still one of the most influential to understand narcissistic trends in the general population.
A 2021 review conducted by the American psychologist Joshua Miller and his collaborators compiled decades of studies to offer one of the strongest summaries about how specialists currently understand narcissism. He explains that this feature has a common base, which includes aspects such as self -importance and the feeling of law, and then branches in forms such as grandiosity, antagonism and vulnerability.
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Researchers usually use the terms great y vulnerable to describe two main manifestations of narcissism. A person with great features can be bold, confident and emotionally resilient. Another, with vulnerable features, can be defensive, anxious and hypersensitive to criticism. Both share an egocentric core, but express and experience their emotions very differently.
In a 2022 article that I wrote with colleagues, we made the first meta -analysis about the relationship between narcissistic features and the ability to control emotions. The results showed that vulnerable narcissism is systematically associated with greater emotional difficulties, which implies that these people have more problems to regulate their emotions.
In particular, those who obtain high scores in vulnerable narcissism tend to resort to supresióna strategy that consists in hiding or inhibiting the expression of emotions and that has been linked with less well -being. At first glance, it may seem self -control: for example, containing when a boss yells at you. But trying to silence emotional expression without attending to what it feels in the background increases stress when it becomes a regular strategy. In the long term, both mental and physics can damage.
Instead, great narcissism showed no relationship with difficulties in regulating emotions. In fact, several studies included in our analysis suggest that those who present great features could experience less emotional distress in general. This contradicts the extended idea among researchers that all people with narcissistic tendencies suffer emotional instability.
Emotional intelligence and self -perception
The differences between the types of narcissism are also observed in studies on emotional intelligence. In a systematic review of 2021 on narcissism and emotional intelligence, my colleagues and I found that people with great features used to be good to understand and manage emotions, such as controlling anger or recognizing those of others.
However, when their skills were evaluated through objective tests (for example, identifying facial expressions or choosing the best response to an emotional situation), their performance did not always coincide with what they stated. This coincides with a 2018 study that showed that, although those who present great narcissism are considered emotionally competent, they usually perform less than other participants in emotional intelligence tasks.
On the contrary, people with vulnerable narcissistic features tend to obtain lower scores in emotional intelligence and seem to have more difficulties in managing their emotions in everyday life.
So what do we do with all this?
It is time to leave behind the “pop” psychology that quickly labels difficult people as narcissists. Narcissism does not consist of taking many selfies. And no, that couple who ignored you or the partner who monopolizes the meetings does not necessarily have narcissistic features, even if it is tempting to think it while we comment in front of a coffee.
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These casual diagnoses are not only useless, but also are usually wrong.
Narcissism is a complex psychological pattern that can manifest itself in various ways and reflect deep struggles with self -esteem, emotional regulation and social connection. Understanding it does not mean justifying harmful behaviors, at all. But it does allow us to go beyond stereotypes and have a clearer vision of how narcissistic features are expressed in everyday life.
*Sarah A. Walker She is an attached professor of Educational Psychology, University of Durham
This article was originally published in The Conversation
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