We have just started the month and we are already immersed in a whirlwind of commitments, sensations, thoughts, rushes, reflections. In times of social acceleration, December is a complex tapestry of emotions. It is for me and for many people since it intertwines the joy of the holidays, the recounting of achievements as well as losses and setbacks. The last month of the year plays chess of the soul, and in most cases, rather than taking stock, a feeling of being trapped can arise. If we allow it, impostor syndrome does its thing.
The reflections reveal the duality of celebration and joy, of sadness and pain, especially with significant events. On the one hand, some of us will have had great successes, fulfilled dreams and crossed goals, but we will also have had losses, destroyed dreams or retraced steps. Events that occur in close succession while confronting the past and evaluating goals. That, on a personal level.
And, the professional, suddenly, we realize that the execution of the strategy was not what we had planned. It hardly is, variations in results are common currency. And, in the evaluation meetings, we assess whether we reached the stated objective, whether we are getting closer, further away and in what percentages. And, even if our numbers are good, we can come to feel that we are unable to internalize achievements and suffer from a persistent fear of being discovered as a fraud. By? In the midst of so much rush, we don’t give ourselves the opportunity to reflect.
Also in the area of teamwork. In December the time comes to verify what our collaboration meant. The time comes when the one who stood out the most will be targeted, the one who did not understand the game, the one who was a key piece, the one who was a heavy stone to carry. These balances can uncover imposter syndrome when success is not satisfactory, because by setting such high goals, you always think that you could have done better.
Of course, we cannot ignore what happens at the community level, in the world in which we live. By raising the vision, we can contemplate a profound change in perspective after an event as significant as the mega atrocity of war—wherever, whether in the Middle East, in Ukraine, or wherever bullets return and death occurs. Trauma like that can spark gratitude for the everyday blessings we often take for granted. This new appreciation for life’s simple joys is a source of strength and motivates you to pursue aspirations, even in the midst of adversity.
We have to review what we experienced. We met with our co-workers to evaluate the results. We have dinner with our friends—some of whom we see only once a year—to tell each other how this year went. And, in the midst of this dizzying cascade of events, it is worth stopping to think. In front of the mirror, we look at ourselves and discover something that wasn’t there last year. We count and rate the degree of fulfillment of last year’s good wishes.
You have to observe carefully. Having a strong drive for achievement, often bordering on unrealistic expectations, while feeling the weight of constant dissatisfaction, can be amazing but also exhausting. Perhaps we could learn to embrace a balance that allows me to satisfy my ambitions while enjoying simpler pleasures: reading calmly, taking a walk, or sitting face to face with our families.
However, the tortured mind works backwards. The moment you let yourself go, there is some pessimism. Is something bad going to happen? We worry about our businesses, about our or our people’s academic results, or perhaps about some illness—which may not even exist. Suddenly, it seems that happiness is elusive.
For perfectionists, success for these people is usually not satisfactory, because by setting such high goals, they always think that they could have done better. individualists reject help. They feel that if they ask for help, they do not prove their worth. Those who feel obliged to be the experts often think that they have not been honest in the selection and fear being discovered. Natural geniuses judge themselves, become stressed and overwhelmed if they don’t do things fluidly, quickly and the first time. Superhumans put pressure on themselves to work harder and perform, which can damage their mental health and social relationships.
I insist on how careful we must be to keep impostor syndrome at bay, that is, that feeling that our achievements are small and our setbacks are immense. This is an exaggerated assessment to increase the negative and minimize the positive. The solution comes through the answer to a simple question: Can we have it all?
We know that is not the case. What am I willing to give up and why? What am I willing to sacrifice about my impossible personality to find some peace of mind? Juice spills on computer; I need a break, I want to go on vacation, I need to visit my family. We can’t do everything, at least not all at the same time.
We tend to see the glass half full, sometimes even overflowing. Other moments we feel that a second that I don’t spend fulfilling my destiny is wasted forever.
This is December, we are balancing between animation and melancholy. We laugh and tears come to our eyes. They will be moments of reflection. Look ahead, fix your eyes towards the bright night sky full of stars and smile as we realize that each year the story of our lives continues to resonate, one word at a time.
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