En la empresa familiar, el control que no se gestiona termina gobernando más que la estrategia.
When control protects… and when it begins to govern
In the family business, not all battles are fought in the market. Some occur in silence, within the minds of those who lead, decide and carry the weight of the family name.
The desire to do things well, to not fail, to protect what has been built, can transform—without realizing it—into an excessive need for control that wears down relationships, decisions, and the future.
When obsession disguises itself as responsibility
In many family businesses, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) does not appear as an obvious clinical diagnosis, but as normalized behaviors:
- review everything several times,
- distrust any delegation,
- impose rigid rituals,
- correct again and again what has already been agreed.
The founder who cannot let go, the successor who doubts every decision, the family member who needs to constantly confirm that “everything is under control”, do not always act from the strategy; Many times they do it out of anxiety.
A dangerous confusion arises here: confusing order with rigidity, discipline with compulsion, and care with control.
The silent cycle in the family business
As in OCD, an invisible cycle can take hold in the family business:
- Obsession: “If I don’t check everything, something will go wrong.”
- Anxiety: fear of losing, failing, or being judged by family.
- Compulsion: supervise, repeat, intervene, overcorrect.
- Temporary relief: feeling of control.
- Repetition: the need returns, increasingly intense.
This pattern not only exhausts those who experience it; It suffocates the team, stops talent and erodes family trust.
Impact on family and business
When these dynamics are not recognized:
- delegation and professionalization are weakened,
- conflicts are generated disguised as “demands”,
- leadership is confused with constant vigilance,
- Anxiety is transmitted as an organizational culture.
The company can continue operating, but it stops evolving. And the family, although it remains together, begins to suffer emotionally.
Read more: The art of leading without noise in the family business
What does help in the family business?
Without entering into the clinical field, there are family governance practices that help break these cycles:
- Clear roles and processes, to reduce the need for personal control.
- Functional governing bodies, which replace obsessive review with institutional agreements.
- Spaces for family dialogue, where fear can be talked about without disguising it as demand.
- Emotional leadership, which recognizes that not all risk is a threat.
Accepting that not everything can be controlled is not weakness; It is business maturity.
Case 1: The founder who won’t let go
In an agribusiness company, the founder reviewed every invoice and every operational decision. The Family Council agreed to create an Audit Committee with quarterly reports. The founder stopped reviewing everything and focused on strategy. Result: less tension, more confidence.
Case 2: The perfectionist successor
A son who took over the direction corrected each presentation and delayed projects. A protocol was implemented: reviews limited to two rounds and final approval by committee. The successor learned to trust processes and release energy for innovation.
The family business is not destroyed by thinking too much, but by not learning to let go in time.
When the mind doesn’t stop, the business doesn’t move forward either.
Understanding these dynamics does not seek to label, but rather to humanize leadership and protect what is most valuable: the relationship between family and company.
The control born of fear protects the past, but puts the future at risk.
In the family business, the more you try to control everything so as not to fail, the more the ability to grow, trust and transcend is limited. Letting go is not losing control; is to change it for government.
“The more we try to control everything, the less control we have over what is essential.” Carl Jung
What part of the business are you trying to control so much that, without realizing it, you are slowing down the evolution of your company and your family?
About the author:
Twitter: @mariorizofiscal
The opinions expressed are solely the responsibility of their authors and are completely independent of the position and editorial line of Forbes Mexico.
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