Volver a empezar no es señal de fracaso, sino de sabiduría. Porque solo quien se atreve a soltar lo que fue, puede construir lo que será.
A fable attributed to the philosopher Zhuangzi circulates on the Internet: one day, a weak seagull fell into the garden of the Marquis of Lu. The marquis, wanting to help her, organized a banquet, brought musicians and offered meat and wine. But the seagull didn’t eat, it didn’t relax… and it died. The moral is clear: the marquis entertained her as he liked to be entertained, not as it would have served her.
This story comes to mind when I work with family businesses facing drastic changes. In moments of high emotional tension, leaders often resort to the solutions they know, those that worked for them before, those that give them security. But what worked in the past doesn’t always work in the present. It is not a methodological error, it is an emotional limitation. The inability to adapt to change often comes from difficulty managing uncertainty, stress and frustration. And in family businesses, where emotional ties are so strong, managing emotions is more than important: it is vital.
Is anyone here afraid of change?
According to John P. Kotter and Leonard A. Schlesinger, there are four main reasons why people resist change:
- Fear of losing something valuable: Power, influence, prestige. In family businesses, this fear is especially strong in the founder, especially when retirement approaches.
- Lack of understanding: If the change is not communicated well, it generates distrust. For example, announcing a restructuring without explaining its benefits can lead to sabotage or resignations.
- Conviction that change is harmful: When managers and collaborators see the situation from different perspectives, a clash is generated. Punishing resistance without understanding it only exacerbates the problem.
- Low tolerance for change: There are people who simply do not adapt easily, especially those who have been doing things one way for years. Let’s remember when computers arrived: many feared they would become obsolete.
When a family business goes through a crisis, the change is usually radical and rapid. This requires leaders to adjust their leadership style. And if negative emotions are not managed, any strategy is doomed to failure.
What can I do to manage my emotions regarding change?
1. Don’t get lost in your emotions: Nick Tasler, organizational psychologist, warns that talking too much about negative emotions can sabotage us. Identifying them is useful, but then you have to focus on solving the problems that cause them. We know people who constantly complain about how they feel, but do nothing to change the situation. In crisis, holding on without acting has no merit. Acknowledging stress is necessary, but you do not have to be its hostage.
“The change we need most is the one we fear the most, even though it is the only one that can save us.”
2. Practice self-care: I like a saying in English: “Tough times don’t last, tough people do”. In other words, “there is no evil that lasts a hundred years nor a body that can withstand it.” In family businesses, it is common to see founders who are workaholics, who get up at five, read three books a month and sleep six hours. But that model is not sustainable. Health is the most valuable asset. Only our best version—a healthy mind in a healthy body—can lead effectively. How many founders retire early due to health problems? More than we would like to admit.
3. Find a purpose: It’s a good time to read The man in search of meaningby Viktor Frankl. After surviving a concentration camp, Frankl found strength in purpose. Focusing on what we want to achieve gives us energy to get up every morning. Ask yourself: why is this change worth it? What legacy do I want to leave? Holding on to the past—“in my time…”—only generates stress. The past is no longer there; what matters is what comes.
As we see, technical skills are not enough. Emotional skills are needed to function in times of crisis. Kotter and Schlesinger said it decades ago: Even when leaders understand that they must change, sometimes they cannot do so emotionally. Therefore, when implementing changes in the family business, you must communicate well, accompany collaborators, train them and give them tools to adapt. It’s not enough to want to help, you have to know how to do it.
About the author:
Twitter: @mariorizofiscal
The opinions expressed are solely the responsibility of their authors and are completely independent of the position and editorial line of Forbes Mexico.
Follow information about business and current events in Forbes Mexico
